THE CHEESE WHIZARD

If you want to watch your home team play on Sunday, you might have to move.

This week, a barrage of articles were written criticizing Roger Goodell and the greedy NFL for threatening to blackout locally televised games – as they always have – if the home team doesn’t sell out the stadium 72 hours prior to kickoff. With blackouts likely in at least 5 cities, and 75% of Sunday afternoon ticket dropouts pointing to a lack of funds as their reason for cancelling subscriptions, crusading journalists are begging for the mercy of loyal fans; fans too strapped to buy a ticket; fans, who, without a local broadcast, will be unable to see their home team play.

Stop whining. And, as my father would say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

In 1961, then commissioner Pete Rozelle (a genius), looked into the eyes of the NFL owners and said something like: “You want to make money? You want your franchises to be worth more than they are now? Then stop being selfish. Make the success of the league your priority, and your team will be richer for it.”

Did it work? You’re darn right it did.

The “League Think” mentality gave birth to a joint television deal with CBS for $2.3 million per year that has now grown to include FOX, ESPN, NBC, and DIRECTV at a whopping $2.3 BILLION per year. Rozelle basically printed his own winning Mega Millions ticket and handed it to the league.

For a revenue sharing system to work, however, there must be accountability. The big market Cowboys, Redskins and Patriots shouldn’t be asked to blindly concede 40% of their gate receipts to the greater good if small market teams, like the Jaguars, and Lions, and Rams (Oh, My!), aren’t going to do their part by fielding a competitive team and diligently marketing the product to local fans. This isn’t a free ride to The Emerald City, folks.

“We tried our best, but the economy is in shambles,” they cry!

The economy crumbled 11 months ago, and NFL owners were on the front lines. This fraternity of financially savvy tycoons knew what was in store for the American consumer a year ago. They knew full well that season ticket subscribers would be lost. They knew full well that wallets would be empty. And how did they react? Who was running their marketing departments, Laurel and Hardy? And, would someone please tell me, whatever happened to ‘thinking outside of the box?’

Every other moneymaking entity in America has been forced to adapt to the pressures of a bear market. NFL teams should not be exempt. The average NFL ticket cost $72 last year. Why not offer discounts? Why not offer single game options, or even 2 or 4 game packages, rather than the full 8-game plans that fans are now held hostage by? Why not spare season ticket holders the pain of pre-season detention, having to watch the taxi squad three or four times, when they would rather just stay at the beach for the weekend?

Here’s an idea: if so many Americans are unemployed, why not hire a few, on a commission basis, to investigate thriving local businesses in your area and recruit those profiting companies and their employees to buy up your newly vacant seats? Because let’s be real; this isn’t a 162 game baseball schedule nor an 82 game basketball schedule.

It’s a 16 game season! Only 8 are played at home! EIGHT!

That means there are only 400,000 seats to sell. That number pales in comparison to the 1.6 million tickets the flailing, basement dwelling, small-market, I-can’t-name-more-than-two-guys-on-the-team Pittsburgh Pirates of baseball sold this season.

If NFL teams failed to address these basic economic concerns, then they’re flat-out stupid. But worse, if they knowingly watched ticket sales drop while secretly hoping the league would bail them out in the end, then please, say it with me, “KEEP THEM DARK!” Punish these franchises that planned on riding the coattails of an otherwise thriving economic system.

“But, it’s the fans who suffer!” Yes, it is. That’s what they get when they root for a team run by Al Davis.

Being a football fan is a funny thing. Because, while a guy in Jacksonville might say he’s a fan of the Jaguars, and a young girl in Detroit will claim to be a Lions fan, they’re both wrong. They are both fans of the NFL. Period.

The product is not an individual team. The product is a competitive contest, between two fairly matched teams, with an unpredictable outcome. That is why we watch the games. That is why we manage fantasy teams. That is why NFL gambling is a multi-million dollar industry in Las Vegas. And, thanks to 4 major networks, satellite TV and the internet, a fan who can’t watch the Raiders from his home in Berkeley can just as easily become a fan of the Vikings, the Steelers, the Colts, or a handful of other small-market teams whose exciting, sold-out, raucous stadiums will be aired every week by a league proud to show you such an overwhelming sensory experience.

If there is any criticism to be made of the NFL, it is in its policing of non-sharable revenues. Thanks to the efforts of individualists like Jerry Jones, teams that own their own stadiums can create alternative streams of income from concessions to parking to summer concerts. And if these capitalistic ventures remain unbridled, small market teams will not be able to keep pace with an ever-rising salary cap and competitive economic demands. The very semi-socialistic foundation that has lifted the NFL to great heights will surely come crumbling down.

For now, the system works. Stop whining. Get creative. Sell some tickets.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.